8.30

I’ve got much to hate about morning classes. I sneaked my way out of that last semester, but this time I had no choice. Just one schedule for that major class. The train’s too packed up at that early and it’s just annoying when you get to the train all good and you get off with a crumpled shirt and everybody else’s perfume (and even unwanted smell at times) on you.

I could put up with all that inconvenience and everything else in between, just assure that the class would be worth the extra effort and the morning madness. It was our first meeting this morning, and things happened so fast I didnt know what to say. Except for “damn the nerves”.

Yes, I got it all on me again. I felt like I was going to throw up the cereals I forced myself to eat with nearly spoiled milk.

I thought I had my worst moment my last semester in UPD. Though arguably, it was the best class I ever went to in years, it got me all freaked out twice a week for around five months. When you’ve got your professor lovin’ your surname and you get called on for extremely intellectual questions the moment he sets foot on the classroom, it puts you on an appalling condition. I’ve gone through all that and I never thought I’d be in another one again. Until this morning.

It’s feaky. Same time. 8.30 class, aircon on blast mode. And I got my surname resonating in the discussion all through out like 7 or 8 times. It was the first day, and everything was like, is time on fast forward at 2x??! I was shaking, the cold was getting under my skin and my mind is damn going around. I felt like throwing up at one point. I even considered getting out to take my meds but the questions kept coming and there’s no way you won’t get called on.

And all of these reminded me of the good but shaky old days in diliman. I guess I’m on board a tense and shaky ride again this semester. I just hope it would all be worth the compulsive nerves and the crazy brain cells.

I won’t bet on things getting easier next meeting, so I better make sure I take the meds. Maybe I’l dropped it in the cereal bowl. But with fresh milk I’m sure.

 

~

Wicked Me

“Er, this week?”

Now that sounded a bit off.

I had the mistake of appearing interested in this national organization and now I have to deal with unwanted text messages. It’s not their fault, they’re just doing their job, my bad because I signed up and gave my mobile and email.

I attended this forum a few weeks ago, and a classmate, who’s a member of the  organization, approached me and asked if I might want to join. Ever the yes-ok-sure, I nodded, filled out the form, and that’s the mistake. I actually am quite against the workings of their organization, well not to the point of their ideology, and I’m not sure I would want to share their way of thinking. And when I think about why I said yes,… of course, it’s because I hate saying no to people.

And so the org’s rep texted me this afternoon, asking when I can come for an orientation. WTF. Why so fast? Lol. Anyway, I’m still not sure about this thing so I asked her if the “meet and greet” has to be this week. In that apparently not-so-nice way above. She replied blahblah blah, I can’t even remember what she said except for a Saturday activity that she she invited me to attend, and of course,  I didn’t reply. Wicked me. Was that too bad?

It’s my tactic, sorry. I’ve never been really that bad in dealing with people (except for one girl in hs who everybody seems to hate, and uhm, that girl who stalked Nekko. lol). So I’m testing my turn-off powers by being such a pain in her arse, if she does have that behind.

She could have just given up if they were not so scrambling to get people into their wagon. So when she texted me again late this afternoon, I figured out they must be bulking up on members. Why do so? The organization is well known, I’m just not sure if for the good or the bad,  so why chase people? Perhaps, because their members have realized that the organization doesn’t really serve its purpose. I think I’m partly right on that.

That second text is personal, with my name on it, I must say they’re really nice in dealing with people, good for them, but it freaked me out. I read the message too late, she asked if I went to class today. Er, does she know my sched? Freaky. This time I replied, wickedly of course. I told her yes, though I didn’t attend one class, and to shut her up, told her I’m free this time, blah blah, but BETTER YET, blah blah blah. That must have made her think I’m such a demanding app, she haven’t replied yet. After six hours, still no message.

What a classic way to shoo away people.

Lesson learned, start saying no when it should be the answer. I have just played a bad role, so I think I can pull it off again, any time.

~